Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize