Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentineās Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
