where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Jerry, you need to find god
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
