im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
