did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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