quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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