I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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