yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
