he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
