BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
This is the high leading the old right now
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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