Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
