I'm really into asian looking animals
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
