I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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