"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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