i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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