I love black thongs
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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