I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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