I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
