i don't like sucking hair
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
did you just send me my own nude
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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