this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
