Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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