I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
