Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
