You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
