I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
