real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
