It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
