i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize