Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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