so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
