***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
