we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
