margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
