I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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