if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
