she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
