My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
