doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
