She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
