like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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