I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
