you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
