just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have tasted many bathrooms
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize