Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
