Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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