one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
