I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
