you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
