I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize