you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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