I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
