This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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