im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
