Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
