anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
