When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
MIDGETS
????
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
