i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
