What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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