You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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