he told me I talked like a deaf person
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
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You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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