You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
