Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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