Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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