We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize