The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
