just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
