Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize