out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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