Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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