The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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