Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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