No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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