so that wasnt chicken after all
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
