Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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