while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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