The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
