I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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